Sunday, March 27, 2011

To Graduate or To Continue?

I am in a rut. I am scheduled to graduate from college in about a month. I don't know if I have just been so stressed out that I've begun thinking of continuing my education, or if I really am feeling I need to keep going and learn my passion. I need to just hash things out... Here are my pros and cons.

Graduating- Pros
I'll get my degree, I am done with homework, I can work full-time so I will earn more, I will have more time to do my own writing.

Graduating- Cons
We will still be in Cedar for another year so I will most likely be working as a secretary somewhere that I don't really like which will result in hating my job but being there full-time, I still want to learn about graphic design and play drums

Continuing- Pros
I will be able to learn about graphic design (what I really want to do) and get a minor, possibly play drums, can keep my job at the university, will be in school with Jared still.

Continuing- Cons
Might not get Pell Grants so we'll go further in debt, won't be making more money but spending more, might not get graduation fee back or moved, won't be getting new work experience.

I just don't know! Because I don't feel ready to take a full-time job, even if I do like it, which given the economy in Cedar is unlikely. I wanted to do a graphic design major but then decided on English because it was faster but now that we'll be in Cedar anyway, I'm thinking maybe I just want to learn graphic design. I think I would be really good at it and I think an English: Creative Writing major with a Graphic Design minor would be really good in the job market. Plus I could probably do a lot from home with those skills.

Recently I have just been hit with creativity and a need to create art and am interested in art and I've always had that but I've never taken the time to feed it. I've learned the more I feed my curiosity and passion, the less depressed and frustrated with life I am. I am really leaning toward continuing school. I'm not going to lie though, I am a little worried about what people will say because I've been telling everyone that I am graduating. It's not that big of a worry, but it's still there in the back of my head.

If anyone reads this and has been there, tell me how to find my answer. I'm praying and everything but I just doubt myself all the time. We'll see. I might not be graduating this semester. Am I okay with that?

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